Sacajawea Park

I have been able to spend much, much more time with Enzo over the past month.  It definitely has been an interesting transition after working so much, but I feel the maternal instinct slowly sinking in.  Oh, I wish this mothering thing came naturally, effortlessly.  Seriously, I look at some other young mothers who seem like superstars.  We all know that no one is perfect, but they seem to have it all together--and they look great.  We are talking perfect hair and a perfectly serene 3-month old.  Today I didn't even shower.

The poor little man is getting molars right now--four of them.  Sometimes I wish babies could just be born with a full set of their baby teeth, but in reality, that just wouldn't work.  (I am sure you can guess why, but I won't write about that here.) But, in that case, at least I wouldn't feel like I want to cry when I know Enzo is in pain.

Even though I just wanted to keep Enzo home and snuggle him all day long, we both knew that he needed to get out.  This little man loves being outside, and that seemed to be a perfect cure for his mouth and spirit.  He will not be held in our two-bedroom abode forever.

So, going against my logic (which said that it was pretty chilly outside), I tucked a blanket in the back seat of the car and headed to Sacajawea Park, where hungry ducks, crunchy leaves, and endless trails were just waiting for us.  Enzo was in a happy little dream land.

And so was I--for the first time in several days (he had the flu on Friday and Saturday), Enzo gave me tons of those delectable little ear-to-ear grins.  It was a beautiful sight to see.

And that made today wonderful--and it made me okay. I know that I have a lot to learn as a parent, but I am grateful for a child who loves me unconditionally and truly forgives and forgets each day.  I am so excited about getting better and being blessed with additional maternal instinct over these next days, months, and years.

And I am grateful to walk through all of this with my little boy (right now it looks more like me running ahead, kneeling down, and coaxing him in my direction), but we will get to the side-by-side stuff soon enough.

slowly but surely

A few weeks ago today was what I called "the first day of my new life."  I knew everything was going to be different.

I would have tons and tons of time with Enzo.

I would craft and make books and blog and play the piano and learn dozens and dozens of new things.

I would have the most immaculately kept home.

I would create amazing meals each night--Dane would surely praise each and every meal.

I would exercise and do my hair and feel irresistibly beautiful.

Okay, so the list goes on and on.

Well, the first three weeks certainly haven't felt incredibly easy, and they haven't been true to the picture.  

I have had some wonderful moments, and I have felt awkward and clumsy during other times.  I think I will compare myself to the little tortoise who raced against the hare.  Oh, I feel like I have been off to one slow start.  I have felt just as busy, but I am starting to finally lighten the load and spend more time on the best of the best!

AKA little Enzo man and the hubby

And it is starting to feel great.  

Really great.

first things first

Simplify.

Talk about one of the most difficult mantras to actually practice. However, I have made a step or two (or just one, actually) in that direction.

Take "exhibit A"-- my newest and best goal yet: Wake up earlier.

I have been testing out this goal for weeks now, but I finally just jumped in and fully committed. My, how it has been fabulous. (Read "tested" as "tried several times and hit the snooze button about 85% of the time.)

For my own benefit, I am reminding myself why I am sticking with the routine (because it is hard for me to get up at 5:30 on purpose each morning):

1. I am most productive in the early morning, so I knock out all my cleaning and organizing to-do's along with a short little workout. This equates to more play time with the family. I come home and make dinner and PLAY and PLAY and PLAY...you get the point.

2. Who needs to stay up really late anyway? I just spend that time usually searching for a new tv series to digest with Dane. I might as well be sleeping, one of my favorite hobbies.

3. A good start usually means that you will keep with the goodness. If I have a lazy start to my day, I am way more willing to justify more laziness.

This may not seem like simplifying to some, but it is freeing up a lot more of my post-work time. At night Enzo and Dane had to compete with dishes, laundry, chores, grocery shopping, etc. My time can now be more about them. And that makes me one happy momma!

My Legacy

Tonight my little family did our weekly trek to one of Pocatello's shopping meccas--Costco. (I swear, we just can't seem to stay away from that place!) And of course, we had to treat ourselves with a little frozen yogurt because who can turn down enough cold goodness to feed your family for $3.01? NO ONE.

Plus, it was family night, so the ice cream was all a part of that. Dane jokes that I label anything we do on Monday night our "family activity." I will admit that I just might do that. Is that really bad? Don't answer.

On the way home I decided to have a little part-ay in the back seat with our munchkin. It started with me feeding the little man and followed quickly with him taking right over. He is definitely a first-born, independent man. No big deal though--this would just call for an instant bath when we made it home. 

When in the back seat, a little Eric Clapton and Babyface came on the radio. We turned up the music a bit, and I sang out to the little guy. Cheesy, I know! When the song ended, I told Dane that I had definitely been thinking about how I could make my own little stamp on the world. (Maybe I have been watching too much "Secret Millionaire" lately.) After brainstorming for days about starting a non-profit and donating more of my time, I had finally realized that Enzo is my mark.

He is my legacy!

He is the way I can change the world!

Someday I will trust that chocolate-covered little person with my name!  (Please tell me that won't come too soon!)

I have made so many mistakes and frequently think about what I would have done differently. I suffer from a case of chronic disappointment, and because of that, I often overextend myself while trying not to miss out on a golden opportunity. I feel a sense of urgency to "make up" for lost time. Instead of investing all of this energy into other things, Enzo is the best avenue for this drive and love and time. Dane just might have laughed a bit about my timing with the "Change the World" song tonight, but I don't think I will soon forget that sweet little car ride, singing my own soft-spoken message to my ice-cream covered son.

dearest enzo

Dear little Enzo,


Today was long--and so busy!  Oh, it felt like one thing right after another...after another...after another.  And you know that I love a nice, productive day as much as the next person.  But, once 8:00 hit, I felt like crying--knowing that tomorrow is just another busy day.  Things were just starting to feel monotonous and somewhat repetitive, then you gave me that mischievous, adorable smile.  You know, the one you learned a few weeks ago that always makes everything better!

That's the one!

Oh, and here it is again!

Oh, thank heavens for that smile tonight!  You flashed that grin a million times while I was giving you a fun little bath or playing pillow fight on our big bed.  

Now, that wasn't monotonous at all!  That made my day extraordinary!

Thanks, little one, for knowing how to turn a busy, regular Tuesday into something truly special!  

Love,

Your Momma!

like mike (and jeri too)

Now that we have a little baby man, Dane and I have really become future-oriented in our daily chats.  (Maybe even a little philosophical--just look at us!)  Right now Enzo is still so young, but we feel some urgent need to start patterning our lives after some families and parents that we really love.  We might as well just start now, then we might have some stuff figured out when things really get crazy.  Let's be honest though--who really has everything figured out?  

So, this Beorchia clan is headed in a positive direction with Dane as our trusty captain, me as the loud-mouthed but lovable wife, and Enzo as someone who just looks super-cute along the way.  Oh, and he is cute.  Right now he has the best cheesy grin, where he scrunches up his nose and shows all 6 of those teeth, and people just melt.  What a charmer!  Anyway, back to the topic!

So, on the drive home today from a 4th of July shindig in the Magic Valley, Dane and I were talking about how his Uncle Mike and Aunt Jeri always have a gift or goody bag when we see them.  We always leave with more than we brought. 

In fact, Dane told me about a time when Mike drove way, way, way out of the way to pick up the best doughnuts around for a little golf outing.  Dane enjoyed his doughnut when they met up, and before he knew it, Mike was offering the delicacies to the men working at the course.  I just love that!  Don't you?!

Enzo got a fabulous dinosaur pillow pet out of yesterday's deal (which I love nearly as much as he does), but I also learned a valuable little lesson.  I want to be like Mike and Jeri.  And Dane does too.  

So, we have decided that we are going to try not to go somewhere empty-handed.  We may come with snacks or little gifts or something, but we would love to share the blessings we have received.  I can hardly wait.  

And maybe some of those Pinterest pins will finally come in handy!

Uncle Mike and the little man!  Enzo really just loved the whole Beorchia family.  They were so playful and fun, and Enzo couldn't get enough.  More will definitely be posted soon.

The Beorchia troops brought these amazing vegetable straws.  It was a heavenly mix between potato chips and french fries.  Enzo had to double-fist the snacks, he just loved them so much.

Enzo just finished opening the pillow pet, thanks to some help from Dad and a couple of cousins.  What wonderful family members we have!

the quote

If you came upon a person who was drowning, would you ask if he needs help, or would it be better to just jump in and save him from the deepening waters? The offer whilst well-meaning and often given: "Let me know if I can help?" is really no help at all.
(Ronald A. Rasband)

I remember reading this quote on Pinterest (yikes, I know) a few weeks ago, and its powerful message struck a loud chord with me.

I think I am this person.

"Can I bring you some brownies?"

"Do you need me to watch your kiddos?"

"What can I do to help?"

I remember once when my mother told me that I have great intentions, but that I need much more than that.  I think she quoted that, "Intentions pave the way to hell."  Ooh, what a dreary way to say what I needed to hear at the time!  And, as usual, those words of wisdom from a parent long ago did not really stick until just now.  Oh, why don't we always listen to our parents when we are young?

Anyway, I know that this has to stop.  Less offering, and more doing.  This will be a part of my little transformation.  And so, I offered and followed through with an intention this weekend.  And it felt so great!

Dane and I spent the night searching for bad guys in a video game (seriously, none could be found anywhere), protecting the youngest kids during the massive pillow fight, and monitoring Enzo as two little girls just gushed over him.  The four children were each incredibly full of energy (which we definitely weren't used to), but we had the time of our lives.  The Saturday night we spent babysitting was unforgettable!  For me, it was just as fun as a night on the town!

And what was even better:  as I drove home I just felt incredibly grateful...

Grateful I could serve.

Grateful for a fabulous husband and handsome little baby man.

Grateful that it felt so good to not be thinking so much about myself.

And I felt a little change deep inside, and I knew that this year was going to be one of the best years ever. I knew that I was bound for some great changes.  So, cheers to more doing and a bit less lip service.

And that is what this year is all about!

up and running

Today is May 1st.  Today also marks the beginning of my own LITTLE EXPERIMENT.

Lately I have become a bit too comfortable, and we all know what happens when we become this way-- NOTHING.So, I am starting an experiment to get me out of my comfort zone, to push me to new limits, to help me grow as a wife and mother, to simplify and determine what's most important, and to try new things.

Just thinking about this gives me some major BUTTERFLIES!  (My little heart just can't wait, but it is so scared at the same time!)

So, I am going to personally document the things I am doing to make life even better.  I have really stopped on the journal writing, so this will be my own little journal for the next year.  I am definitely writing for my own benefit, but if anyone else wants to come along for the ride, I am extending an open invitation.  It is going to be a FABULOUS year!

I would like to say that I really started today, but I think today added the urgency that this needs to happen NOW!  I can't believe that I am admitting this, but for the first time in my short nine months as a mother, I set E in his high chair, propping a bottle up for him, as I raced around our tiny kitchen playing an anxious clock-watching chef.  I just had to have a perfect meal ready for the husband when he got home from work, and I just couldn't let myself drop the multiple pots to spend a precious moment with the growing baby.  Come on, Kasi!  I have no idea how much longer my little guy is going to let me feed him; he is already an incredibly squirrelly little fellow when it comes to feedings.  Anyway, what I really want to say is that I think I sacrificed what is truly important today for something that is not quite as good.  A great meal on the table is good--actually, it is great (and I really want to reach deep down to find that gourmet chef somewhere)--but if I am missing out on some more important time with the baby, maybe something that doesn't require a bunch of attention and work would be better.

Anyway, I can hardly wait for all of the ADVENTURES coming in the next 365 days--from working on something I pinned on Pinterest, to developing new hobbies, to spending quality moments with family and friends, to being more comfortable flying by the seat of my pants, to whatever else life brings.  Earlier this week I told myself that I was too old to change my outlook/habits/life, but 27 is definitely a perfect time for this.

In fact, I can think of no better time than TODAY!